Newton’s First Law of Motion states that a body at rest will remain at rest unless an outside force acts on it, and a body in motion at a constant velocity will remain in motion in a straight line unless acted upon by an outside force. For the better part of the past five years I’ve felt like that body at rest. I’ve had goals that have sat on the shelf waiting for ‘the time’ to attend to them. Instead of working on bettering myself and attaining those goals I devoted the better part of five years to a task with no true payback and no finish line. That ended for me just as I approached my 40th birthday. Deep inside my psyche I knew it was now time to get serious about my goals and begin working on achieving them.
I’m glad that I’ve thrown the monkey off my back and I’ve worked hard to restore my connections with my family and friends that I’ve neglected. Sadly, I fear that some of those connections have now changed in ways that I can’t change back. I can only look forward at this point and hope that as time goes by what seems impossible will slowly but surely become possible. The inertia that held me trapped was quite large and honestly could only be escaped by me because it was created by me. Once I began to realize that the things I truly wanted, the things I considered most important to me were being neglected by my actions they became a bigger pull to me than the escape that my ‘addiction’ was. I slowly prepared my exit strategy and executed it nearly flawlessly, quitting a few months sooner than I anticipated.
Looking back, I’m not sure how I managed to fit it into my life. The sheer volume of time required to be a part of a ‘relatively’ bleeding edge group like I was cut into nearly every other aspect of my life. I managed to move the majority of the time I devoted to it into late night hours which only cut into my sleep in an attempt to spare my other obligations. Now that I’ve quit and get roughly six or seven hours of sleep a night instead of the two or three I was getting I find myself much more engaged in work and at home. I don’t miss the game itself – not one bit. Making this change was a huge win for me and I’m glad I made it.
Since quitting I’ve recommitted myself to several short and long term goals. First, I’m determined to improve my overall health. Having a desk job that I spend a minimum of 50 hours a week at sitting on my backside coupled with then spending another 18-20 a week sitting while playing contributed to me being horribly out of shape and overweight. Since quitting in early October I’ve made significant strides in correcting this problem. If my progress continues at the current pace I will be at my goal by May of next year. The normal sleep pattern coupled with my healthier habits has helped a great deal with improving my overall mood.
The extra time and energy is also allowing me to complete old goals as well as realize some new ones, but more on that later. Despite the doom and gloom surrounding our economy and the overall future of our world I’m looking forward to next year and those beyond it. I feel like I’m moving again and I don’t plan on letting myself rest or get pulled off course again.